So you want to whack your boss. Deep inside your heart you have a biggest desire to humiliate, irritate and make him feel worthless. I was just wondering what this post would look like in my Personal Development blog but there is a reason behind it. Wack Your Boss is a protest against those managers who don’t deserve to be there. They are not meant for the job and deserve to be fired. They have developed mysterious instincts of hurting people and making their life a living hell. They have not only killed the productivity but have also taken enthusiasm out of their lives.
Yes, everything in a Job is in the hand of your Boss. You don’t work for a company but for a Boss. There are plenty of ways to get work from team but bad bosses always chose a wrong way. They get a kick from hurting, humiliating and irritating people. They don’t concentrate on problem but always look way to fix people around those problems. They want their unquestionable supremacy and wanted to be worshipped as an idol.
Technically you cannot whack him and end up losing your Job but there are ways to humiliate, irritate and make him feel worthless. Below are 20 simple harmless ways which can help you achieve that purpose. Use them yourself or with help of your colleagues and see the magic. While some won’t have visible effects but these are very good way to make him feel useless in his own eyes. Here it goes
1) Give Him Work– He is bothering you because he has no work for himself. Give him some work to keep him busy. Whenever he asks you to do something, think if something can be given to him. If yes, then ask him to explain and put it in writing. Tell him you need something to refer and ask him to explain through document or email. Request him to consolidate and put his thoughts so that everyone can benefit from it. End result, either he won’t write it down or would delay it by days. Eventually he would either tell you that it is not required or even if he sits down for writing he would find it hard to write. Yes these mangers hate to work themselves and you can humiliate them by giving them some work.
2) Bug Him with Reminders– If your boss has taken some work on himself than bug him with reminders. Ask him politely and in front of other people. Wait for him to answer and explain the reason for delay. You do it couple of times for same job and see how worthless he looks. Soon he would run out of reason and would hate to hear a word of it.
3) Kill His Enthusiasm– This is my favorite. Your Boss at times may come to you with great idea or something which he loves. He would go on to explain it to you but you need to play your trick. Pretend yourself to be very busy and when he completes what he intended to say, ask him to repeat. Say “I am sorry, Seems I missed it—can you repeat”. It’s a royal kick to his enthusiasm and you would enjoy it like anything.
4) Kill his Ideas– Whenever he comes with any idea, don’t respond. Don’t utter a word. Show yourself to be very busy. People expect a response from others when they present an idea. A cold or no response would kill the idea like anything.
5) Surprise Him in Meetings– Your Boss would not like you or any of his team members to look smart in front of others. Surprise him in larger group with your intelligence. A sure way to make him feel bad. It would also kill him even more if others start to ask you for ideas and not him.
6) Ask him to Make a Comment– In meetings whenever you see that he is not focused, make a comment and ask him to make a comment too. Caught him unawares as this will put him in bad situation. Either he would make unrelated comment or will want to be excused. Either way, he will feel humiliated and worthless.
7) Kill His Food Preferences– In pantry or outside whenever you go for lunch make sure you need to kill his ideas related to food. So whenever he talks about some good food, you talk about something different. Zero or cold response to his preference will make sure he has got no good choice. Talk of your preferences in food and make him feel that he eats bad food. This idea works considering people are very sensitive about food. As a resultant effect he would think twice before talking about it with other people.
8 ) Keep a Check on His office Timings– Whenever he comes late, tell him you were looking for him and it seems he got late. Whenever he leaves early bug him with same phrase the next day. This puts the other person on defensive and solicits unwanted explanations. Enjoy when he explains you and see how bad he looks. Also he would think twice before leaving early or coming late the next time.
9) Beat Him in Sports– Surprise your boss by beating him in matches that matter. I know a table tennis player who voluntarily used to lose matches during practice sessions. But whenever there were some tournaments or big matches, he used to beat his boss badly. His Boss used to be very confident, while he enjoyed a lot beating him in ever point. Enjoy beating your boss in sports and see how helpless he looks while losing.
10) Make him Spend Money– Personal Parties or otherwise, make sure your boss pays the bill. Order lavishly in his parties and enjoy expensive food. Always look for ways to make him treat and spend money. Make sure every month he feels really sad by looking at his credit card bill. Contribute to economy at expense of your Boss.
11) Don’t Feed him with Ideas– You know how things would work, you know what is the best solution and if you know your boss needs it badly……then don’t tell him. Don’t feed him with ideas and make him look smart. Use the artillery for yourself and for your own growth.
12) Don’t Offer Help– Is your boss looking for help. Personal or Professional whenever he comes to you for help and want a favorable response, don’t offer help at all. Make sure he comes again and again to you before he feels really sick about it. It is an art to turn him down and enjoy the response on his face.
13) Ignore him Outside Office– Your Boss might look for some respect both inside and outside office. So when you see him lonely or with family in movie show, malls or supermarket….just ignore him. He would feel bad about it and would lose the fun of visiting the particular place. No matter how much he shows that he is not concerned, truth is that he will feel bad about it.
14) Delay Reply to Emails– If he need an urgent response than delay the reply. If he comes to you than show him that you are busy in something assigned by him only. Put him in a situation where he has to decide what needs to be done first. Don’t say No, but give him choices. See how irritated he would look by seeing some of his tasks getting obstructed.
15) Repeat what he does not like– If he has warned you not to get late, create a reason to do so after a gap. If the reason relates to him than nothing like that. Personally, manager hate people repeating something of which they have already been warned. They lose their cool for whole day and till the time they talk about it. Though it can fall back on you but it is best method to disturb him.
16) Argue a bit and then go Silent– You know your boss is wrong. Argue with him for some time and then stop speaking. People like to win battles by defeating their armed enemies and not the one’s who are unarmed. Go quiet and take the sense of victory from him. He has to win ultimately, than why not take the flavor of it from him.
17) Go Missing– Forget your cell phone on desk and go somewhere. Make sure whenever your boss comes with a good idea he does not find you. A small delay can really shatter the enthusiasm and can make something else important. Don’t be part of his fodder and avoid him. Its hard for managers to pass their day if they do not find people to vent out their ideas.
18) Don’t take his Call– Switch off your mobile or keep it ringing. Tell him the next day that either you didn’t got his call or use any other damn good excuse. Keep him waiting and spoil his day. Make him look for alternatives. This method used at different times can put him in fire fighting mode.
19) Get Late for his Meetings– Get late for meetings, give some excuse, and ask him to repeat. While there are many methods you can use in meetings but this is best to break momentum of meetings. Also you can enjoy other things while he waits for you
20) Don’t give Complement– Good work, nice clothes, fabulous shoes………never give a complement. Always avoid this and make him feel useless. There is never a better method to kick your boss ass virtually than not to offer the complement when he expects it the most.
Almost all of the above ideas are harmless. If you are good at your job and you know small things don’t matter than you can get a real thrust by enjoying any of them. Most Important- If you know any of the idea which can help fellow reader than leave a comment. I would love to grow this list and help people who get harassed by their managers. Let’s Fight Back.
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