To forgive is divine. That is a common saying. Whether it is divine or not is not our concern. The most important thing is how to practice true forgiveness in spite of whatever issues that caused the disagreement. Letting go of grudges gives a kind of personal peace to the offended. You will not be troubled within yourself and your mind is clear. In addition to the personal peace, those who freely forgive stay healthier than those who hold grudges. Letting go of grudges removes stress and also reduces the risk of high blood pressure.
Sequential steps to forgiveness
1. Be prepared to forgive freely. Even when the offence is not yet committed against you, be prepared to forgive anyone who offends you. In this case, it is easier to do when someone eventually offends you. It is a step of determination and boldness. Without this mindset, letting go of grudges may be so difficult a thing to do and to practice. Tell yourself you can do it.
2. Do not expect or wait for the offender to come and apologize. So many people are in the habit of expecting the offender to come and apologize. This often happens in a relationship whether marital or not. Be sure to prevail over your stubbornness and pride. This must be done in the interest of peace within yourself and with people. Make the move while your reveal your anger and hurt, and then settle the rift. Don’t leave your well being in the hand of one offender.
3. Show empathy with the offender. Many a time, the offender has committed the offence in ignorance, pain, negligence or fear and will be so sorry when e or she is contacted. When you put yourself in their shoes and honestly review the issue, it is certain that you will contact the offender to find a common ground. Who knows? You may be a role model to your offender for the bold step.
4. Remember the fact that you have been forgiven by someone else before. When you remember that someone or even one of your loved ones has forgiven you before and you had a bit of relief, you must be moved to show forgiveness to anyone that has offended you as well. Offence can come from any side but that should not necessarily point towards the end of your once enviable relationship.
5. Be reminded that to forgive is different from to forget. At some point after forgiving somebody, the scene of the offence will find its way back to your mind. In this case, the hurt can no longer be as the initial hurt when the issue was new and fresh. Some people renew the pardon while other try to cope since it had been settled initially. However, when the issue flashes back, try to dwell on the matter was resolved. Think on how the offender said he or she was sorry. And then move on.