Overcoming Shyness has been a huge discussion point in all these years. Ask about it solution and almost everyone will give you a big list of Do’s and Don’ts to help you overcome shyness. But truth is it works sometime but it does not work most of the time. Why? Because they will give you a big plan related to confidence, motivation etc. and not a plain simple Hack. Personally I think Shyness is an evil that kills your growth. It makes you hate yourself and butchers your confidence. It has uncanny habit to pull you in a black hole from which there is no return. Yes, if this habit makes a home in your mind, it would not be easy to get rid of it.
If you think your children, anyone from family or even yourself is in need for a practical approach than this article is for you. This tip has helped me a lot and has done wonders for my friends too. The fear to make the first move gets replaced by willingness to wait for every opportunity you can lay your hands on.
So what is this tip is all about. Wait, before we talk about it, let’s talk about the problem first.
By the way, Why the Hell you feel Shy
1) Fear of what others would think
2) Fear of Rejection
3) Fear of Reaction
What this essentially means is that you haven’t talked about the pay raise with your boss because you think
1) He will feel bad about you
2) He might give you bad score because you asked
3) He might think you to be greedy and not concerned about work at all.
What this essentially also means is that you haven’t talked with the girl you like just because
1) You think she will feel bad
2) You think she will make fun of you
3) You think she will hate you like anything and wont see your face Ever
Also, What essentially this means is that you won’t speak in meetings just because
1) You might think that you will flounder
2) You might think that people will laugh at you
3) You might think that people will think that you are stupid
Finally, what this essentially also means is that you don’t talk to the salesman in a supermarket for a discount or deal because
1) He might think you to be a sub-standard person
2) He might think that you are a penny poacher
3) He might think you to be utterly stupid.
Well, you are not the only one who think this way, but you among many who currently suffer from this Disease of Shyness.
Yes, You need to get rid of this Disease with a very Practical approach. This Approach calls for asking yourself a Question. Do that and go for Kill.
Ask yourself– “So What”
Yes this works like anything. This approach calls for asking you a question and seeking an answer. 99.9% time you would find that an answer would solve your entire problem and break all barriers.
This approach strives on a fact that all big barriers build in your mind gets broken once you seek an answer of them.
So, When you think that you feel shy talking to your boss ask yourself this questionà So What
1) He will feel bad about you—So what? Feeling good isn’t solving your purpose
2) He might give you bad score because you asked- So what? Good scores have not got you the pay increase till now
3) He might think you to be greedy and not concerned about work at all.- So What? Till now I have been concerned about work but it has not helped me.
What worse can happen, he will fire you. Don’t Worry, He won’t Just because he is a human being too. Yes, he is in same ship as you and would love if someone starts a discussion around this topic. And believe me; Talking about it would give you a better raise than not at all talking about it.
Another case- You feel shy talking to the girl you like
1) You think she will feel bad- So what, she has to decide today or in future
2) You think she will make fun of you- So what, if she enjoys it today, she will repent in future
3) You think she will hate you like anything and won’t see your face Ever- So what, this has to happen someday.
While this is crude way to answer, but fact is that the girl would love you expressing your feelings. Even if she says NO, you should work on the next plan to convert it to Yes. Fact is that you need to tell her what you feel so that things get easy in future and you just not remain “A Friend”.
Second Last Case-You feel Shy to speak in meetings
1) You might think that you will flounder- So what? You might flounder once or twice but you will make your mark soon.
2) You might think that people will laugh at you- So what? It would inspire me and would let me know about my mistakes.
3) You might think that people will think that you are stupid- So what? They have to painfully change their view in future.
Don’t give a damn. You think about people, the fact is that they are self-fish bunch of idiots who think only about themselves and hate someone making their mark. If you live and stay quiet for them, then you bet, you won’t ever progress in life. Remember, professionally, you compete with everyone.
And Lastly- You feel shy to ask or negotiate with a salesperson
1) He might think you to be a sub-standard person—So what? Let him think. You don’t give a damn. Anyone would have done the same thing in this situation
2) He might think that you are a penny poacher- So what? This is your hard earned money and every penny counts
3) He might think you to be utterly stupid.- So what? Its his thought and good luck to his sick mentality. The fact is if I am buying something, I am doing this poor fellow a favor
The fact is that the salesman is there to make a sale. He love customers and he loves to negotiate. The barrier is in your mind which you need to kill. If you feeling shy to ask him, he might feel bad not to get a sale or having a customer who leaves without consulting
Asking yourself à “So What” has a lot of power. Use the worst way to answer it and it will give you a big Motivation to go for a Kill.
Shyness is nothing. No one in the Earth has a bloody one minute to think about you. It only you who put yourself in their shows and judge yourself.
Try It, It Works