If you are married, you have got another family. The new family isn’t like your previous family. You did not grow up in the new family. It is only your partner that knows them too well. However, you still have to live with them and manage them as if you are very familiar with them. You will definitely have a healthy relationship with them if you know how to manage them well. Here are some tips that you should apply in order to manage your in laws very well.
Create affection by getting familiarised
As it has been pointed out earlier, you are not too familiar with your in-laws. So, they have no affection for you neither have you any affection for them. You have to start familiarising with them so that you will establish the required affection with them. Creating affection with your in-laws is highly important because it is the only way to get yourself enrooted in the family. The best way to familiarise and create affection with your in-laws is by seeing them more often. At the initial time in your marriage, it is important that you see your in-laws more often. It will help you to become more familiarised with them.
Be friendly when meeting your in-laws
When you meet or visit your in laws, it is good that you put up a friendly behaviour. Have a serene mind when going. So, it is not good to visit them when you are emotionally distracted or when you are not in the best mood. You have to be friendly with them or try to be friendly to them. But if you visit them when you are in a bad mood, it is likely that you will put up a bad behaviour and they will have a negative impression about you.
Don’t quarrel with your in-laws over petty matters
Don’t bicker or fight over little matters with your in-laws. Differences in family culture, religion, political ideology and similar matters can create room for bickering between you and your in-laws but try as much as possible to avoid arguing or bickering unnecessarily with your in-laws. Sometimes, you have to agree with them over issues that you cannot change. For example, it is almost impossible to change the eating habit of your aged father or mother in-law. The same thing can be said of their political ideology and religious belief.
Don’t overlook your own values
Not bickering with your in-laws does not necessarily mean that you should overlook your own values. One fact about life that you should bear in mind is that when you accept your own values people will learn to accept them or tolerate them. But if you play them down, people will not take you seriously. If you play down on your own values down, there is every tendency that your in-laws will not take them seriously.
Tolerate grandparents’ house rules
When you visit your in-laws with your children, it is important that you give privilege to their house rules. Grandparents can be over indulgent. Some may have strict rules while others may have simple rules. But whatever the case is try to give privilege to their rules.