Definitely, every couple will work hard to make their marriage a successful one. Nobody enters into marriage with good intention and prays for the marriage to be broken. However, we see that many marriages today do not last. According to statistics, about 20 percent of marriages end in divorce within the first 5 years. 48% of marriages are terminated after 20 years of existence. One major cause of the increasing cases of divorce in the world today is because people marry out of wrong intention. Lack of compatibility and understanding between couples can also lead to divorce. If you’re undergoing divorce in your marriage, here are some tips that will enable you to have a smooth and successful one.
Be kind to yourself
The termination of marriage especially when one does not expect it sparks off a lot of emotions such as grief, fear, anxiety and anger. Sometimes, these feelings overcome you and come up when you don’t expect. It is normal for a person to experience such emotional reaction when one is undergoing divorce. However, with time, the intensity of the feelings will reduce. However, during this time when these emotions rise, it is advisable that you treat yourself with kindness. It has been discovered by researchers that people who treat themselves with kindness easily manage the difficulties they face during and after the dissolution of their marital union.
Don’t too much time thinking of the divorce
Though, it may be difficult for you to avoid thinking about your condition, but it is not good for you to spend too much time thinking about it. Try as much as possible not to think too much about your condition. The best way to handle divorce and avoid too much thinking about the entire process is to opt for divorce mediation rather than seeking for a legal termination of your marriage. It has been discovered that divorce mediation is more advantageous to spousal relationships, emotional satisfaction and needs of children.
Cooperate and communicate with your spouse
Things may not be working out well between you and your spouse. You may not want to talk to him or even set your eyes on him. However, as it has been discovered through research, it is more rewarding for one to communicate and cooperate with their soon-to-be-ex-spouse. Both of you can visit a psychologists together for counselling. Attending a psychological counselling session in other to talk things through with your partner will help you to have a healthy and smooth divorce.
Take time to write down things that you may want to discuss with your spouse or a therapists. You may not be able to remember anything when you are not emotionally balanced. So, it is better that you choose a time when you are calm and not disturbed emotionally and write things that you will want to discuss.
Keep conflict away from children
If you have children and your marriage is becoming problematic, it is advisable that you avoid any conflict with your partner when your children are around. It has been discovered that children who experienced their parents quarrel are more likely to have family problems in the future.