There is nothing as bad as living under the same roof with a manipulative person. Manipulative behavior is what controlling spouse exhibits; bully, fearful, forceful will, insensitivity, aggressive, obsessive etc are some of the hateful traits of a controlling spouse. Originally, husband and wife are expected to operate in unity, love, understanding, partnership and liberty to oil the wheels of marriage. But due to certain mistake, which shouldn’t be, one gets entangled with a bully who only loves to hear the sound of his/her voice. This act triggers the song of marginalization from the passive party. Controlling spouse affect a relationship in diverse of ways and additionally, it is a vital reason why marriages hit the rock. No one can survive under an aggressive environment for a long time how much more a life time as victims in marriages does. It is a bit bearable for one to have to condone the unpleasant and manipulative habits for a limited time but very difficult if one have to stay married to that person; sleep together, eat, see daily till death do us part, forever for worse condition – very frightening indeed. Marriage relationship or any relationship at all cannot survive under the weight of compulsive bullying it will simply disintegrate in to many pieces. What are the ways and how does a controlling spouse affect a relationship is the assignment of today’s article.


How Excessive Control By A Spouse Affect The Marriage


1.                  Bad foundation: Having an excessively bossy spouse means laying a very shaky foundation for the marriage. For marriage to grow strong it requires: communication, patience, love, tolerance, cooperation, mutual understanding and respect. These are the primary traits that couples must have to build a strong foundation that will withstand the pressure of building a happy home. But unfortunately, these constructive traits are absent in a controlling spouse thus giving the marriage a loophole for destruction because if a character is manipulative, the other will become passive. A passive spouse due to the controlling force wielded by his/her spouse is unable to contribute to the active running of the home; not because they are unable to, but because the will to do so has been squashed under the weight of oppression and as such they behave more like a zombie. So since a building requires a strong foundation to rest on, it will be impossible to build a strong marriage on a weak foundation; it is a matter of time before it crumbles.

2.                  Retarded growth: Marriage like an entity needs to grow and this is achieved by two people working together in one spirit who patiently and love strives to build that dream home. First been a controlling spouse his/her attention is focus on their twisted roles which is to control, overtake by all means. They are list concerned about the interest of the marriage except the selfish interest that he/she wouldn’t mind killing the weaker spouse to achieve. The passive spouse on the other hand might have experiences and abilities required to build a strong home but due to fear will hit a nail on it.

3.                  Romance: Another way controlling spouse affect a relationship is in the aspect of romance. The manipulated spouse feeling confused at a relationship devoid of understanding, sharing, love will end up resenting the controller enough to inhibit chemistry. It is made further worse because the affected spouse will be unable to communicate his/her emotions thereby causing stagnation and dearth of romance. He or she disrespects the controlling spouse and in due time comes to resent him/her and that of course kills the need of intimacy, closeness, cuddling as couples should. This is dangerous because once a marriage lack romance, it loses her oysters because romance is like oil that lubricates the engine of marriage.

4.                  Low Self Esteem: As the controlling spouse wields control over the home; making all decision for the household, the garments of dignity and self worth of the victim gradually gets torn to shreds leaving a low self esteemed individual behind. This of course leads to complexity causing people around even children to disrespect and treat their parent in disdain.

5.                  Marital Problems: The echo of problems in the marriage actually starts from the time the lady agrees to marry the man, or the man proposes to the lady. When the victims swallows more than he/she can bear the next line of action is to consider separation and in some case divorce.

6.                  Bad parenting: This is another way controlling spouse affect a relationship. Face it no body wants a controlling person as a father; if it is not good for mummy it can never be good for children. This is what been a bad parent is all about; they see the way you maltreat your wife/husband and believing the world is all about been manipulative shows it to others; mates, peers, colleagues etc, if not curbed becomes a controlling spouse too and pass it on then the vicious circle continues.


Controlling spouse affect a relationship in so many ways. If you do not want to fall victim look before you leap, do your home work perfectly during the dating phase and if you discover that a person have a controlling traits move on and save yourself ugly situation later in the marriage.

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