Parents who are divorced or whose marital union has been terminated normally find it difficult to enforce discipline on their children. Most of them are not willing to discipline a child who is facing the trauma of not living with both of the parents. There are some that find it difficult to enforce discipline because they are psychologically exhausted. They are also battling with the emotional effects of passing through divorce. Besides this, children whose parents are divorced have two different sets of house rules to obey. But there is always the need to be consistent and stable with these rules. Here are some tips to apply in order to enforce discipline after divorce.
· Decide how to work together with your ex
You should practice teamwork with your ex. You and your ex need to work together. So, it is important that you discuss with your ex in order to determine how to work closely. There are some parents may that see to everything while others will only want to come in when there are big issues such as when a child is bullying other children in the classroom. You should concentrate on your child or children and not on your ex. The best way to achieve this is to see your ex as your business partner. So, decide where to meet with your ex without getting the children involved. Take note of everything you discuss during the meeting.
· Don’t worry if no agreement is reached
Your discussion with your ex may reach deadlock. You may not agree on certain issues such as schedule for homework, house rules and the likes. This should not worry you. You can establish your own house rule. Children can easily obey various house rules under varying environments such as daycare, school, your home, ex’s home, grandma’s home and the likes.
· Be consistent with your rules
Consistency is the key to discipline. You should be firm in your statement and stick to that. Don’t try to bend your rules simply because your ex has a different rule unless you are convinced that his rules are the best. For example, if your ex clean your children room himself but you will want your children to be doing that, simply let them know that in your home, they have to clean their rooms. However, don’t condemn your ex’s house rules.
· Punishment should be housebound
If you have handed down any punishment, you should enforce it by yourself. Don’t expect your ex to enforce any penalty given by you. It is also not good to extend punishment to the house of the ex. If you penalize your child for a wrong doing in your house before a visit to your ex’s house, it is not good to extend the punishment to your ex’s house. The punishment can wait until when you come back to your home unless you agree with your husband on how to go about it.
The above are some tips to apply in order to enforce discipline.