Nothing hurts more than a bruised self esteem. Each one of us, irrespective of our flaws have a beautiful person inside us, and when that person inside us gets neglected or insulted, that irritates our self- respect and self- esteem. Although when we give heed to our self esteem, what uplifts it and what lowers it, we realise that there is a thin line that separates self respect with ego. Often we all make our self respect and self esteem suffer because we fall prey to the unreasonable demands that our ego exerts on us. Let us understand more about developing self respect.
The foremost requirement to develop self respect is to be respectful towards others. In the everyday hustle-bustle of life, we come across many people. Each of them possesses myriad personality traits. Some of those people, we like a lot and gel easily with them, while others no matter how hard we try will rub us the wrong way, and irritate our nerves. What comes foremost in the way to develop self respect is to be able to respect that fact that world is made up of all types of people, and to be able to respect the existence of even the ones we detest. When we don’t like someone, our attitude should be to distance ourselves from the person, but never to be rude or cunning towards them. By doing so our conscience gives us reasons to respect our own self, also reasons to people around you to respect you greatly as a person.
Another trait which takes a leap to our self esteem and gets us respect from all around is to be self dependent. By being Self dependent in all terms, financially, emotionally and in all other spheres concerning social life we succeed in developing self respect. When we don’t make our self act as a burden to anyone, and don’t pressurise anyone by unreasonable expectations, people are happy in being in our company. When we are not dependent on anyone we don’t give people any reason to hurt our self-respect or to harm our self esteem.
What comes primary in sabotaging our self-respect is our complaining attitude towards life and people. Often we get so frustrated and irritated when things don’t go our way, that we develop a nagging way toward life and people around us. The result is that we tend to bruise the self respect of others in order to inflate ours and what we end up getting back is more and more hurt by people surrounding us. Refrain from such negativist tendencies; the fact that you can’t fall prey to the demeaning surroundings of yours will be a reason enough for people to respect you and to accentuate your Self-respect.
Don’t be gullible to allow people to take undue advantage of you or try to demoralise you and hurt your Self-respect to achieve their frivolous expectations from you. Be courteous, be well-mannered, be sensitive to people around you. But remember to express these virtues in balanced proportion. What leads people to hurt our self respect? Of course, our own attitude and behavioural traits! Exert watchfulness on your behaviour.
Be confident as you are. Be comfortable as you are. In order to develop self-respect, learn to be at ease with what you lack as well as with what you possess. Yes, being comfortable with what we possess is the basic requirement while dealing with self-respect. Often we all get used to what we don’t possess, by rationalising our weaknesses; but if we manage to achieve some stupendous feat, we all wait for applause. The feat lacks glamour unless it is noticed and appreciated by others. This trait if not guarded and understood might give you reasons to make your self-respect suffer. The reason being, that not all the people around you will be happy for your achievements. Guard yourself well against jealous people and foes; know your friends well before depending on them for self- appraisals.
When we learn to place our focus in the right direction, i.e. when we succeed in shifting our focus from the external world to our own world; we succeed in putting our life on track. By doing so, we start achieving success and solace. This in turn leads to contentment, which invariably dissolves the self pity and what comes out is a belief in our own abilities. We get the courage of handling whatever life brings ahead of us. We start understanding life, its importance; we start respecting life and that is when we start respecting people around us and our own selves. This is when we become successful in developing self-respect.