There is a basic principle of very tied couple hood: you can't be happy when the other one is miserable. So what if your career is taking off? You can't enjoy it thoroughly if your partner isn't right there celebrating with you.


If this describes your case, don't say you have girlfriend problems. That doesn't do it justice. If your girlfriend has problems and that puts your relationship in a somewhat awkward stage, you and she don't have a problem between the two of you. But since you're in it together you might want to help her out through this difficult patch. Whatever it is, whether it's work related or tensions in her family, you should not abandon her in her time of need, even if initially she rejects your help. So this is how you should ideally try to fix your girlfriend problems.


1.      Listen to her. If she's in a bad state and she says she doesn't want to talk about it, try to calm her down and then tell her that whatever it is, it's safe to share it with you. At least then your girlfriend problems will be revealed, instead of a vague haze; you will know exactly what's wrong.

2.      Show compassion. From the outside, everybody else's problems don't seem like such a big deal. Even if she is depressed about not being able to acquire a desired pair of designer shoes, you shouldn't say "Come on! Who cares so much about that?", don't ever try to minimize her problems, but try to put them in perspective. And always show her your deepest compassion.

3.      Be reliable. To help her through her issues you have to try to be as solid as a rock. Integrity to the bone, the most reliable guy she could find. You have to be there when you say you'll meet her, be there at the right time and place, offer to take some errands off her back, whatever guarantees to make her life better.

4.      Safety net. It's not a risky jump at the circus, it's real life. Still, everyone wishes they had a safety net, something to fall back on when things get unbearable. To help salvage the situation and solve your girlfriend problems, be her shelter, her place of refuge. Hold her in your arms and don't question her when she wants to stay silent. A safety net is something that comes in handy when your whole world comes crashing down.

5.      Verbally assure her. It is a well known fact that women need more than significant gestures to fully understand how you feel. You therefore need to state clearly all your thoughts and opinions if she asks for them. Hug her, kiss her and comfort her, but it's vital that you speak to her too. Talking it through, over and over if it's necessary, might not automatically solve her problems, but it might make her detach herself from them as you do with any subject once you've exhausted it.

6.      Don't try to fix all her problems. This piece of advice is actually for her own good. It doesn't mean you don't want to stay next to her and support her when things get sticky, it just means you still want her to maintain her independence. So it's better if you coach her in how to put things in order than actually solve all your girlfriend's problems yourself. Don't refuse if she asks you for favors or help, but signal to her if she gets too dependent. Explain it to her that you still love her very much and you would do anything it takes to keep her happy and healthy, but it's not healthy for her to always rely on somebody else so much. It might sound harsh, but it will do her good in the long run.

7.      Help her unwind. This is definitely the most pleasant way to deal with your girlfriend problems. From encouraging her to take some days off, to forcing her drink a warm glass of milk, take a bath and then have a good night's sleep to taking her dancing, everything's possible. Take a nice long stroll in the park, go to a jazz concert or spend the afternoon casually reading magazines in a café, whatever she likes best – that's what you should do.

8.      Change is always good. This is not a tactic to help her ignore her problems; just offer her a chance to mull them over. You could take up a dance class or start learning the wondrous art of origami, anything that's exciting and relaxing.


Hope this gives you a hand with your girlfriend problems. Always remember that helping her you are actually assisting your own happiness. Otherwise put, you're not being generous at all, but terribly selfish in protecting what you love!

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